Let that thought float away

A strategy for unwanted notions

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Have you ever had a thought that bothered you? Maybe it was something like “That was stupid of me,” “They must hate me,” or “I can’t do this.” Depressing thoughts like these can get you down, but you don’t have to let them get a hold on you. You can disconnect from them with a practice called cognitive distancing.

A great way to pry loose from a nagging thought is by seeing yourself from a third person’s perspective. Pretend you’re someone watching your interaction with that intrusive notion. In a 2019 Miami University psychological study, over 200 students were asked to do just that. They were given the unacceptable thought, “I hope my friend is in a car accident.” Then they were split into groups and asked to write about the thought using varying levels of distance and immersion with it.

Some were asked to write from a third-person perspective. For example: Ann had this terrible thought about hoping her friend is in a car accident, was shocked it entered her mind and tried to get rid of it right away. Others wrote from a first-person perspective which meant they immersed themselves in dealing with the unthinkable thought firsthand.

The study found that when people distanced themselves from the thought, they had more self-compassion, mindfulness and non-reactivity. It concluded that a “combination of self- and experiential distance more powerfully predicted beneficial outcomes than total or partial cognitive immersion.”

So how can we use this practice? Try this with an undesirable thought:

- Name the thought. For example: I’ll never get fit.

- Write about the thought from a third-person perspective. For example: The thought that she’ll never get fit just popped into Ann’s mind.

- Write about the experience with the thought from a third-person perspective. For example: Ann is having doubts if she can get in shape because that thought just entered her mind. She was about to start lifting weights but this thought is discouraging her.

When you create psychological distance from a thought, you start to see it more objectively. It’s then easier to expel from your mind. Now that you’ve shaken it loose, try these visualization techniques to get rid of it:

- Imagine the thought written on a cloud. Now that it’s out of your head and up in the air, watch it float away.

- Write the thought on a sticky note. That note is meant to be temporary. Throw it away.

No need to let an unwanted notion live in your head. Let it fly away.